Dead Or Still Alive
by IShipAlmostAnythingYaoi
Summary: It seemed so surreal, like an illusion, at times it felt like someone would pop out of no where and announce that this was all some sick game. Ereri. Warning inside. Please R&R!


**WARNINGS: IMPLIED NON-CON/RAPE AND INCEST, I also swear a few times when narrating, ALSO ANGSTY THEMES KINDA, BUT THERE IS A HAPPY END**

**Got his idea a couple of days ago, I was in a Product Design lesson, not really doing my work, and listening to music on my MP3, and then I Don't Care by Apocalyptica came on and for some reason it always reminds me of Erwin, then I decided I wanted to rite a fic based on the lines 'If you were dead or still alive, I don't care', this fic doesn't really have anything to do with that, but meh, I like it. It's actually relatively short compared to my last two fics. O3O**

~~~KMD~~~

Some nights, when Levi couldn't sleep, he spent hours lying in bed wondering how he had managed to get to this point in his life. It seemed so surreal, like an illusion, at times it felt like someone would pop out of no where and announce that this was all some sick game.

They'd tell Levi that all of his money was fake, that his mansion of a house was just a set, that his friends were just a figment of his imagination, that the amazing man he called his husband was just an actor and the mastermind behind this whole thing. These thoughts were usually what his nightmares were based on, though they were rare now and hardly affected him like they used to. His husband was always there to comfort him when he awoke from one and reassure him that all was fine.

Levi glanced to his right and saw Eren, deep in sleep, probably having a nice dream if the small smile on his face was anything to go by. Levi allowed a faint smile to tug at his own lips as he brushed some hair away from Eren's face.

He didn't stir and Levi carefully moved the younger man so that his head was in Levi's lap. Levi began to run his fingers through Eren's hair in a steady rhythm, it helped to soothe him somewhat and ignore the small part of himself that told him he didn't deserve this, any of it. He deserved the sick game.

His life had started off pretty good, his mother and father both loved him and with Levi being an only child, they spoiled him rotten.

Of course that all went to shit the day Levi's parents were murdered and he was forced to live with his uncle. He never liked that man, he always gave Levi a bad feeling and he noticed how the man made his parents uneasy too, when they were alive, that is.

Levi hated living with Kenny Ackerman, the man was almost always drunk and Levi suffered from beatings every other day. The man never fed him either, Levi was always hungry and had to find his own food. The task was made harder since he wasn't allowed out of the house, so he devised the clever plan of hanging around Kenny when he had food, and when the man passed out from the alcohol that he had consumed, Levi would greedily eat whatever food was left.

Then there was the times when Kenny brought his 'friends' over, they would hand the man money as they entered the door, and as Kenny took it he would promise them that they could do anything to Levi, just as long as they didn't permanently mark him or kill him. The men would touch Levi in inappropriate places, he may have only been nine at the time, but he knew it was wrong and that it shouldn't be happening.

When Kenny had finished counting his money he would always join and he would always make things so much worse for the boy. He may have been able to convince Levi that he deserved the beatings and that he didn't deserve happiness, but Kenny could never convince him that he deserved _this_. Nobody deserved this, no matter what they did.

Levi didn't realise that he'd been digging his nails into Eren's head until the younger man let out a quiet 'Ow...'.

Levi immediately pulled his hands away and clenched his hands into fists, "I'm sorry!" He gasped, "I-I didn't realise, I-"

"It's fine, Levi. Don't worry about it." Eren smiled tiredly, reaching a hand up to place on Levi's cheek. "What were you thinking about?"

"My uncle..." Levi frowned, moving his hands to part Eren's hair and inspect the small, crescent shaped wounds that he had created. They weren't deep enough to start bleeding, but they were definitely deep enough to hurt, "I'm sorry..." He repeated.

Eren smiled softly and sat up, moving to sit in Levi's lap. He wrapped his arms around his husband's neck, beginning to place gentle kisses all over his face, hoping that he'd be able to show Levi just how much he loved him without having to say it. When Levi was looking and acting as vulnerable as this, Eren knew he needed the affection and reassurance.

Levi gripped Eren's hips, "Thanks." He whispered, grateful that he had Eren. He knew Eren loved him and he knew he wasn't going anywhere, "Please say it."

Eren leaned back and looked into Levi's eyes, "I love you." He said, "I love you so much, Levi, that's why I married you. I'm not going anywhere any time soon, OK?"

Levi hugged Eren tightly, hiding his face in the younger man's chest, "I love you too, Eren."

Eren always complained about being bad with words, but Levi argued that Eren always knew what to say when he needed it.

"You should probably go back to sleep," Levi said quietly, placing a kiss to the center of Eren's bare chest. "I don't want you to be tired and miserable at work."

"Will you be OK?" Eren asked.

"I'll be fine." Levi smiled, running his hands up Eren's back.

"Lie down with me." Eren said, climbing off of Levi's lap and pulling him down.

Levi hummed and pulled Eren close, draping an arm over his waist.

Within seconds, Eren's breathing had evened out and he began snoring quietly. Levi smiled at the sight of Eren sleeping peacefully and kissed his forehead, then rested his head on the pillow as he continued his train of thought from earlier.

Levi had ran away from Kenny when he'd turned seventeen. He hitch-hiked to the next city- which was difficult since he was terrified of almost everything- there he met a man named Erwin Smith, and he stayed with him until Erwin's business trip was finished. Then Levi went with Erwin back to his home on the other side of the country, it wasn't as far as Levi would've liked, but it was far enough and Kenny never found him. Levi had heard sometime later that his uncle had died, but he didn't believe it, he couldn't. Kenny didn't die easily.

Levi stayed with Erwin for three years and worked for him as his assistant, he earned good money and he was planning on leaving when he had made enough, but they'd ended up dating at some point. Levi was young and foolish and he thought he was in love with the man that was five years older than him. He accepted Erwin's lies, believed him every single time he said 'I love you', 'I wont hurt you', .

Levi should have known that it was all a lie.

One night he came home to find Erwin fucking some one else in their bed.

Feeling as if his heart had been crushed in an iron maiden, Levi had silently stepped into the room, grabbed a suitcase, packed a few things, and left. He called his friend Hanji and stayed with her until he had met Eren and moved in with him not long after, Levi had started up his own company and surprisingly it was extremely successful. Eren could have quit his job if wanted to, but he rather liked working at a small coffee shop, and besides he was the only one there that could make coffee exactly the way Levi liked.

Eren had shown Levi what real love was, and it was overwhelming for him sometimes, he wasn't used to having someone else's undivided attention since his parents had died. Being with Eren, Levi could clearly see how bad of a lover Erwin had been, and that had really gotten him down, how could he have been so blind?

It had now been around eight years since Levi had seen or even heard from Erwin, was he dead? Was he still alive? Levi didn't care about the man anymore. Even if Erwin had been murdered by some jealous ex, he probably would have felt more sorry for the murderer.

Cruel thoughts, but it was so late it was early, and Levi was exhausted.

Letting out a sigh, he moved onto more happy thoughts, like all the years he had spent with Eren. After months of thinking it over and a lot of conversations with Hanji, Levi had finally decided to propose. It seemed that Eren had gotten the same idea too.

At their second anniversary dinner, Levi had gotten down on one knee and pulled out the ring he had bought, but Eren had burst out laughing before he could pop the question. Instead he asked why Eren was laughing, and that's when Eren had reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring of his own. Levi had laughed and they'd said yes to each other and shared a kiss, they were congratulated by their waiter, told that their meal was free and they left with grins on their faces.

A month later they were married.

Now, they were planning on adopting a couple of kids, and Levi could barely contain the happiness he felt in this moment. He hugged Eren just a little tighter and smiled into his soft, brown hair, sincerely hoping that this wasn't some dream that he'd find himself waking up from at any moment.

~~~KMD~~~

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think?**

**Also, I feel this has become a necessary thing to start putting at the end of my oneshots, it may sound harsh, but please bare with me**

**To put it simply, please do not ask me to write more chapters/sequels for any oneshots I've written. It makes me happy that you enjoy them that much, but I simply don't have the time, and I could ramble on and on with more reasons, but I want to keep this short. I'll ignore all comments asking for more from now on, unless a sequel/more chapters have been written out and you've missed them, in which case I'll direct you to them. Thanks for reading and understanding!**

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